Do you Bully Yourself?

Let's get real for a moment here

Never mind what people say about you in your face or behind your back

Let's talk about the way you talk to yourself!

Would you talk to a colleague or a friend or even a stranger the way you talk to yourself?

Research shows that 95% of the thoughts we have about ourselves are negative

Let that sink in for a moment!

95

%

Negative

And they're repetitive as well

Our thoughts go in a loop, over and over again, we keep chewing on these thoughts and punishing ourselves

A bit like these religious ceremonies I've personally only seen on TV, where people chastise themselves in public, while the blood is pouring down their heads and bodies pierced with strange items, and all they do is crack that whip some more

Here in Australia the definition of workplace bullying is:

Repeated and unreasonable behaviour directed against a worker or group of workers that creates a risk to health and safety. 

So let's go back to the negative voices in your head?

Are they repeated and unreasonable? 

Do they create a risk to your health and safety?

I bet your bottom dollar they are!

I am pretty sure your colleague would file a bullying and harassment claim you if you would speak to him or her that way

Am I right?

Would you file one if someone spoke to you the way you speak to yourself?

The solution?

Step 1: Give yourself a break!

Step back and observe what's happening.

Be an observer and an investigator.

Where are those thoughts coming from?

Are they real, Is there a kernel of truth in them?

Step 2: Know that you are not your thoughts! 

We are not our thoughts.

We are the thinker of our thoughts

We have to face the fact that our brain is playing tricks on us

It's trying to keep us safe by seeing danger everywhere

It thinks it's helping us by nagging like an OTT parent:

'Don't do this'

'Don't do that'

"it's not going to work"

"You're useless"

"Who do you think you are?"

I personally have found the following solution.

I acknowledge the thoughts when I get them (yes of course I get those thoughts too)

But I don't accept blindly what they tell me

I tweak my thoughts to more desirable ones, to thoughts that serve me

My thoughts can be like a bunch of annoying, whining kids who won't go away

So what I do is distract them

I give them a lollipop and tell them to sit in the corner and shut up

It works, they always shut up for a while so I can focus and think more useful thoughts

Every. SIngle. Time

Step 3. Retrain Your Brain

I am reading at the moment the bestseller "Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on it', by Kamal Ravikant, click here for details

There's some great tips in there, all a variety of the practise to say out loud: I love myself!

Give yourself praise and say nice things to yourself about yourself as often as you can

Be your own best mate instead of your worst bully

That way you can reprogram your brain so you can finally be the version of yourself you want to be!

No more bullying yourself

No more intimidating yourself

No more belittling yourself

Instead

Accepting yourself and rocking this world by being you, by being the best version of yourself and making a difference!

You are loveable, you are worthy, you have a unique contribution to make in this world.

Don't sabotage that!

Are you ready to love yourself and shout it out over the rooftops?

Love,

Thilan